10 Commandments for the Perfect Guest
Original text by Alexandra Barbosa on A Pajarita.
English translation/ adaptation by Best of Portugal Weddings.
22/04/2026
Every unforgettable wedding also has unforgettable guests.
Usually, it’s the couples who read me — but at some point, all of them have been, or will be, guests themselves.
Today’s advice is precisely for them — the guests!
Here are ten essential, common-sense commandments to help you become the perfect guest and the best possible company.
Let’s go step by step, from the moment you receive the invitation to the final warm embrace at the end of the celebration.
Give A Clear Response
Confirm your attendance (or absence) in a timely manner. And don’t confirm unless you’re certain you will attend.
If you have doubts or cannot confirm within the given timeframe, speak honestly with the couple. A false “yes,” especially when multiplied by other guests, can create major logistical challenges — from catering to the seating plan.
Confirm Your Guest´s Name
Confirm your attendance (or absence) in a timely manner. And don’t confirm unless you’re certain you will attend.
If you have doubts or cannot confirm within the given timeframe, speak honestly with the couple. A false “yes,” especially when multiplied by other guests, can create major logistical challenges — from catering to the seating plan.
Only Those Named Invited
If the invitation clearly states that children are not included, do not ask to bring them.
If this information is unclear, feel free to ask politely.
Only Invited Guests Should Attend
If your invitation specifies the name of your guest and they cannot attend, do not bring someone else.
Unless the couple has explicitly said otherwise, the only people invited are… those who were invited.
No Substitutions
If your invitation does not say “and Guest,” you should attend alone — and enjoy the company of those present (and who knows, maybe meet someone interesting…).
Adding people without consideration is neither thoughtful nor appropriate.
Be Punctual
Arrive at the time stated on the invitation (or fifteen minutes early — you’ll meet friends and family, and have time to catch up).
Be courteous!
The Wedding Is Not Just The Party
Even if it’s not entirely your style, attend the ceremony — it’s deeply meaningful for the couple.
If you were invited, it’s because your presence matters, and they want to share every special moment with you.
Live And Let The Moment Be
During the ceremony, silence your phone (and keep it in your pocket or bag).
Be present. Experience the moment — literally or symbolically. Be there for the couple, not for yourself.
Even if the couple allows some photos, make sure your phone is completely silent — no flash, no sounds, no notifications.
And don’t step in front of the professionals hired to capture the day. As the saying goes, those who help most are the ones who don’t get in the way.
No White
Do not wear white (unless explicitly requested).
As white is reserved for the bride, also avoid cream and ivory tones.
No Excesses
Do not drink to the point of losing control.
Enjoy the open bar, but know your limits. Maintain composure and, above all, ensure your safety and that of others when returning home.
It all comes down to common sense and consideration for those who invited you.
I hope you put it into practice.
Photo Credits:
1 A Pajarita
2 Molde Weddings | Momento Cativo
3 and 10 The Legacy Weddings
4 Mémorelle Weddings
5 Afonso Castella
6 Paulo Remédios Fotografia
7 Momento Cativo
8 Lucas Santiago Photography
9 The Santos Weddings
